Former professional footballer Jermaine Jenas returned to broadcasting this weekend, six months after the BBC sacked him following complaints of inappropriate messages sent to a colleague. Jenas revealed he returns the airwaves as a better person because he will now ask women if they want to see his penis before he sends them a photo anyway.
Jenas sat down for an exclusive interview with talkSPORT last week, in which he admitted the actions that resulted in his BBC dismissal were wildly inappropriate. While Jenas said the messages were inappropriate, he continued his insistence that they were between two consenting adults and that none of his behaviour was illegal.
“Everyone knows that I’m a bit of a bellend, so I thought sending photos of my actual bellend to women I worked with was just a bit of banter. When you’ve been out securing the coin, you feel like you deserve to put women in awkward positions by showing them your cock. I’m only bothered because I got caught, and the only way my wife looks at my bits these days is if I send her a photo. I’m a better person, though.”
Jenas’ Bizarre “Securing the Coin Video”
Before his sacking from the BBC, which took some doing considering it’s a haven for domestic abusers and nonces, Jenas went viral with a bizarre video where he rambled about “securing the coin.” The 30-second clip spread like wildfire, and includes him taking a drink from a Beavertown Psychedelic pint glass.
A spokesperson for Beavertown Brewery told The Yorkshire Tribune that it does not condone such a person drinking its overpriced hipster ale.
A Return to Broadcasting For talkSPORT
Jenas returned to broadcasting duties this weekend. He was the co-commentator for talkSPORT during its FA Cup coverage of Aston Villa versus Tottenham Hotspur. Before his sacking, Jenas found himself in demand. He worked on The One Show, fronted TNT Sports’ Formula E coverage, and was seen as Gary Linekar‘s natural successor on Match of the Day.
The former midfielder found himself in demand not because of his wit, humour, and charm but because television channels and radio stations continued to select hosts as part of a box-ticking exercise, not because someone was the best person for the job. Jenas has all the personality of, ironically, an unsolicited dick pic, so he was never hired for his talents alone.
A Football Career Cut Short by Injuries
For all of his faults, Jenas was a decent footballer in his day. He racked up over 400 appearances for Nottingham Forest, Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Aston Villa, and Queens Park Rangers. Jenas also earned 21 England caps.
Injuries took their toll on Jenas, particularly toward the end of his career. A ruptured Achilles tendon in December 2011 saw him spend six months on the sidelines and miss 34 games. Shortly after his return to the field, Jenas spent three months in the treatment room after attempting to photocopy his gooch during a Christmas party. Jenas planned to send the unsavoury snap to the women in the club’s canteen, but he broke the glass, was rushed to hospital, and the photocopies were shredded.
In April 2014, Jenas tore his cruciate ligament. He spent over 600 days trying to recover but never stepped onto a football pitch again as a professional player.
