Few things are as enjoyable as escaping the cold, grey British winter and escaping for some fun and sangria in the sun. Benidorm is a popular haunt for British borderline alcoholics, especially during November’s Fiesta Week and the world’s largest fancy dress party. However, in 2025, thousands of Brits will have to look elsewhere for a winter getaway because Benidorm is banning those under 60 from visiting the municipality.

Benidorm celebrates the Fiestas Mayores Patronales in honour of the Virgen del Sufragio and San Jamie each November. The fiesta dates back to 1740 when some local boys found the image of the Virgen del Sufragio on a boat that a violent storm dragged onto the beach. Parades with flamboyant floats and religious masses occur throughout the week, culminating in an impressive fireworks display on the beach.

Since the 1970s, Benidorm has attracted Brits in droves during the fiesta. On the Thursday of the fiesta, the world’s largest fancy dress party takes place, and it is a sight to behold. Benidorm gained an unwanted reputation for violent, drunken yobs during the 1980s, but that has since waned. Today, Benidorm is the destination for thousands of ageing British holidaymakers wanting to grow old disgracefully. Or should that be was the destination?

The Typical Benidorm Tourist

On the face of it, Benidorm is a sunny, warm Blackpool. Bars, pubs, and clubs stretch as far as the eye can see, with these establishments staying open until the early hours of the next day. Competition for punters is extreme, resulting in each pub selling cheap beer and most hosting cabaret acts to get people through the door.

The typical Benidorm visitor is over 60, vastly overweight, uses a mobility scooter, and has far too much mottled and saggy flesh on show. Bingo wings flap in the air as the scooter’s rider hurtles toward the Calle Gerona, otherwise known as The Benidorm Strip, and a faint smell of lavender and piss fills the air. With Viagra and other erectile dysfunction medication freely available, Benidorm is awash with randy grannies wanting to get it on and perform the closest thing to necrophilia a person can without being arrested.

However, the decent weather and cheap beer attract a new Benidorm tourist: the young pisshead. The number of younger visitors increases annually, something the local government is set to stop, handing back the city to sexagenarians and older.

Benidorm Mayor and Residents Speak Out

Antonio Perez Perez, so good they named him twice, is the current mayor of Benidorm. Born in the city, Perez Perez has seen Benidorm undergo a massive transformation over the past 30 years and wants to see his city return to being like God’s waiting room.

“This is a magical city where everyone comes to have a good time. We have people like Edith Jones, who loves taking her teeth out and flashing everyone her boobs. Who cares that they look like a pair of tights with a tennis ball in the end; you go, girl. Too many youngsters spoil the vibe, especially during our famous fancy dress day. Benidorm wants and needs support stockings, big bloomers, and people with Picasso tits on their backs, not these youngsters with their tight bodies and muscles on muscles. Tourists under 60 will not be allowed here from November 2025.”

Ethel Primrose has lived in “Benners” for 25 years. She sides with Mayor Perez Perez.

“I love nothing more than seeing swathes of pot-bellied, balding Brits flying out for the fiesta. It’s great to give a few of them a gummy on the beachfront when they’re making their way home. While the young ‘uns have made MILFs fashionable, we GILFs are left high and dry. How will I get the cobwebs blown off my tuna taco when the town is full of virile youngsters?”

Some Locals Like the Influx of the Younger Generation

Not every Benidorm resident shares the view that young people are bad for the area. Some believe the city should do everything possible to attract the younger generation.

“Benidorm is like a scene from The Walking Dead or the music video to Michael Jackson’s Thriller most days. I’m sick to death of seeing people empty their urostomy and colostomy bags down the drains when I’m trying to enjoy my 12th pint of the day over lunch. Bring the young ones in; the more the merrier, I say,” said Geoff Bourne, who has enjoyed the fiesta week for 34 years.

Local drug dealers are also keen for Mayor Perez Perez to continue allowing under-60s into the city. The Yorkshire Tribune‘s Wanda Lust thought her name was “Charlie” when she walked down The Strip due to the sheer number of times people offered her cocaine.

One local dealer, who wished to remain under a shroud of anonymity, spoke to Lust to a backdrop of Sticky Vicky’s daughter pulling a live mallard from her birth canal.

“We bash our Charlie to within an inch of its life so that its purity levels hover around 10-20%. The oldies always try kicking off because they experienced drugs when there were actually some active ingredients in them. The kids that come here love bragging that they’ve done five bags in a night. They don’t give a rat’s ass that our gear is mostly ground-up ProPlus, talc, and a bit of Bold washing detergent. The silly bastards lap it up.”

Where Will the Under 60s Go?

Mayor Perez Perez is determined to ban people under 60 from Benidorm. It is believed he has the support of his peers. Should the November 2025 ban come in, where will British holidaymakers go in search of cheap booze and winter sun? Let us know in the comments section where you plan to enjoy a vacation now that Benners is likely off the cards.