Several items on the menu of a Leeds café have raised more than a few eyebrows in recent weeks, with some locals boycotting the eatery in protest at foodstuffs they cay wouldn’t go amiss in a Carry On film, reports Scott Chegg.
Scottish entrepreneurs Ben Doon and Phil McCreviss have lived in Leeds for more than two decades since moving across the border from Glasgow as teenagers. The best friends shared a passion for football and food; it is the latter where the dastardly duo have gone into business.
Doon and McCreviss opened Get Yaw Baps Ooot on Butt Lane, Farnley, on March 10, the 69th day of the year. The upmarket café opens from 06:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m., offering breakfast, dinner, and tea. Breakfast is the busiest time for the Scotsmen, with them run off their feet for one menu item in particular.
Best-Selling Menu Items
“The spam javelin is our best-seller,” Doon told The Yorkshire Tribune. “You can’t beat a bit of spam javelin in you before you head off to work. Forget a traditional spam and egg sarnie, our spam javelin is much more filling and satisfying.”
Think along the lines of a tiger bread baguette with spam rolled up throughout, and you are somewhere near. Early starters clamber over themselves for Doon and McCreviss’ spam javelin each morning.
“Around lunchtime, we see demand for our spam javelin wane. People want something substantial to energise them through the day’s second half. Most opt for the pork sword, our tuna taco, or the beef curtains and Yorkshire puddings if they’re really hungry. We even do a Chinese-English fusion dish with our cream of sum yung guy secret sauce; it goes down a treat but can stain your clothes.”
Locals Fail to See the Funny Side of Things
While the vast majority of Get Yaw Baps Ooot customers turn a blind eye to the risqué menu items, some local residents are downright disgusted.
Mary Growler has to pass the café on her way to work and is fed up with the constant chuckling and bellowing of lewd menu items from customers and the café’s staff.
“It’s practically pornographic; won’t someone think of the children? What’s wrong with filling your menu with traditional items? When I was a lass, we’d ask for a bacon butty or a full English. These perverts are ruining food for normal people. What will they come up with next? Piss flaps and chips? They should be ashamed.”
We asked Doon and McCreviss what they thought of Mary Growler’s comments.
“Piss flaps and chips, eh? That sounds great, but it doesn’t really work, does it? Listen, we’re a couple of lads who love food and having a laugh, so don’t read too much into our nomenclature. We apologise to Ms Growler and anyone else who finds our menu items offensive and invite them to the café for a free dessert. They can relax with a Banana Splitarse or an Arsecream Cumday and see what our establishment is about.”
Whether you side with Doon and McCreviss or think Ms Growler has a point, there is no denying the food is tasty at Get Yaw Baps Ooot. I highly recommend the spaghetti bollocknese with a side of garlic bread. Garlic bread? It’s the future.
