Yorkshire puddings will be a thing of the past if the UK Protected Food Names scheme (UKGI) agrees with that lot over the Pennines. The Yorkshire Tribune‘s Lancashire correspondent, Richard “Dick” Head, has learned that Lancashire City Council has applied to the UKGI to rename the Sunday dinner staple to Lancashire puddings.
Certain foodstuffs can only be named after their point of origin. For example, winemakers can only call their sparkling product champagne if it was made in or from grapes grown in the Champagne region of France. This is similar to how Wallace and Gromit’s hands must make Wensleydale cheese for it to be called such.
In 2009, the Melton Mowbray Pork Pie Association (yes, that is a legitimate outfit) gained “Protected Geographical Indication” (PGI) status from the European Union. Millions of racists voted in favour of Brexit in June 2016, removing the United Kingdom from the EU. The move cut off our country’s balls, had the polar opposite effect on immigration, and meant we still have to abide by bizarre EU rules and regulations without having any say in them. Well done to the 51.89% of the country who voted to leave.
Our government created a UK-specific version of the PGI to protect famous food and drinks. Since New Year’s Eve of 2020, only pork pies made to specific specifications and within the Melton Mowbray area can be called Melton Mowbray Pork Pies. It is petty as fuck, but those are the rules.
Yorkshire Puddings Have Been Around Since the 18th Century
Hannah Glasse was the first person to use the name Yorkshire pudding in print. Glasse was an English cookery writer whose The Art of Cookery Made Plain and Easy was an absolute banger in 1747. Glasse renamed Dripping Pudding to Yorkshire Pudding. It is suggested Glasse named the pudding so because of Yorkshire’s association with coal. Cooking with coal as a fuel created higher temperatures, which made the batter crispier.
Originally, diners ate Yorkshire puddings as a starter. The low-cost dish was meant to fill people’s bellies so they didn’t eat as much expensive meat. Some weirdos, mainly those living in the Midlands, eat Yorkshire puddings as a dessert.
Everyone knows this delightful dish has Yorkshire roots. National Yorkshire Pudding Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of February. Even Americans are getting in on the action. On October 13 each year, Americans take Yorkshire puddings to a nearby school and shoot them in the playground.
Will Yorkshire Puddings be Banned?
The Yorkshire Tribune understands the courts are siding with Lancashire City Council and its bid to claim protected status for Lancashire Puddings. Should the council be successful, Yorkshire puddings will be banned, and only Lancashire puddings available.
Our food and drink correspondent Scott Chegg is disgusted that Yorkshire puddings could die out. Chegg believes the move has ulterior motives.
“This move is typical of Manchester. They want to spoil the party. Sure, Lancashire won the War of the Roses, but that was almost 640 years ago. Just as Manchester City buy the best players so other teams can’t have them, Lancashire City Council is pulling a stunt to distract from the 115 pending financial charges the Citizens face and from how shit Manchester United are.”
Differing Opinions
A spokesperson for Aunt Bessie’s, the UK’s largest producer of frozen Yorkshire puddings, said the company will adhere to any ruling.
“Yorkshire puddings are the most important part of any Sunday dinner. However, we understand it could soon be Lancashire puddings that take centre stage. Our designers and marketers are already preparing for any ruling made and have come up with a new tagline: ‘We don’t just like Sunday dinner; we’re mad for it.”
We reached out to Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher, who sounds like he had his bollocks stuck in a mangle during his set at the recent Anthony Joshua fight. However, neither Gallagher nor his people responded before this article’s publication.
Construction-loving Nigel Fromage of the Send The Buggers Back Party (STTB) said, “When we get into power, we’ll build a wall around every Aunt Bessie’s factory in the country. Regardless of what the puddings are called, we will ramp up production by 350% and push them out to the masses. We’d rather people eat these puddings than chapatis and naans. Do they go well with caviar?”
This is a breaking story, so stay tuned to The Yorkshire Tribune for updates as they happen.
