Dewsbury residents are celebrating today after news broke that the West Yorkshire market town will be twinned with Beirut. Twin towns, or sister cities, were first established and adopted globally during World War II, which incidentally was the last time it was desirable to live in Dewsbury.
Traditionally, twin towns have participated in various cultural exchanges or similar activities. Leeds is twinned with Brno (Czech Republic), Dortmund (Germany), Durban (South Africa), and Hangzhou (China); you can see the similarities there.
Dewsbury Councillor Speaks Out
Famous for being the home of child kidnapper Karen Matthews, empty shops, and having 35 mosques (hat tip to Nigel Fromage of the Send The Buggers Back for that snippet of information), Dewsbury is looking to improve its public image, and local councillors are confident twinning Beirut is the answer.
“Everyone thinks of Karen Matthews and empty shops when they think of Dewsbury, but this town has much more about it than that,” said Councillor Ahmed Khan. “We also have an incredibly high crime rate; the number of 16-64 year-olds with no qualifications is more than double the national average, and several of our former residents were complicit in one the largest grooming gangs to date. Don’t even get me started on our drug users; they are among the most dedicated addicts in the country.”
A Match Made in Heaven
The Yorkshire Tribune foreign affairs correspondent Sum Ting Wong has been out and about gathering comments from residents about the upcoming twinning of Dewsbury and Beirut.
“It is full of foreigners, has a massive crime rate, rubbish-strewn streets, and is akin to a warzone on most days. Twinning with Dewsbury seems like a match made in heaven,” said Ali El Din, a Beirut citizen.
Nigel Fromage of the STTB Party was as eager for this venture to fail as he has been about anything else that is positive.
“Dewsbury is another town we have earmarked for building a wall around when we get into 10 Downing Street. In fact, when we get into power, we’ll campaign with the Lebanese government to build a wall around Beirut, too.”
Cultural Exchange Programme
A cultural exchange programme is being developed that will enable Dewsbury residents to visit Beirut and get a taste of life there. The programme works both ways, although nobody from Lebanon has yet put their name forward for the trip to Kirklees.
“Kids will get to climb over rubble, play with unexploded ordinance in the area where their garden once was, and live in fear for their lives on a daily basis. I can’t see why the Beirut people don’t want to come to Dewsbury,” said Councillor Khan. Plenty of red tape must be cut before Dewsbury officially twins with Beirut, but a plan is in action. Negotiators from both sides are confident the twinning ceremony will occur sometime before 2035.
