Thousands of pet owners are furious after Facebook announced a blanket ban on all posts discussing fireworks and pets in the run-up to Bonfire Night. Meta, Facebook’s parent company, is enforcing the ban from 10:00 on November 4 to 23:59 on November 8.
Zach Muckerman, a Facebook spokesperson, explained the thinking behind the pet-related post ban.
“Here at Facebook, we know the United Kingdom is full of animal lovers and that pets are treated like human family members. In the run-up, during, and the aftermath of Bonfire Night, our servers start glowing red hot due to the sheer amount of posts from pet owners saying fireworks are scaring their pooch or moggy half to death. This server strain sometimes prevents weird advertisements for Temu and Wish from being displayed, and we can’t have that.”
Although Facebook is banning pet-related posts, animal behaviour specialists have developed four tips to help owners of scared pets.
- Condition your pet throughout the year by randomly shouting “BANG” when it is asleep, resting, or least expects it.
- Put your pet in a kennels or a cattery so you don’t have to listen to them whining.
- Tell your pet that it could be worse; they could live in Beirut, where explosions happen morning, noon, and night.
- Buy your pet some ear defenders.
Facebook Pet and Fireworks Post Ban is Disgusting
Unsurprisingly, news of the Facebook ban has not sat well with many British pet owners. Karen Pritchard, founder of Ban All Noisy Gunpowder Products (BANG) and seasoned curtain twitcher, called the Facebook ban “disgusting.”
“They [Facebook] should be ashamed of themselves. We should be allowed to vent our anger at people enjoying themselves and following a tradition that spans over 620 years because our dog shits itself whenever it hears a noise over a whisper. It shouldn’t even be called Guy Fawkes Night; surely Them Fawkes Night is better. We shall not be silenced.”
Barry Quinn echoed Pritchard’s threat of not going quietly into the night.
“Before Facebook, whenever I went to a restaurant, I’d take a photograph of my meal, have the camera film developed, and post a copy to all my friends and family. I plan to protest the Facebook ban and express my frustration at the barrage of fireworks by sending letters to everyone I know. I’ll use a second-class stamp, though; first-class postage costs take the piss.”
Facebook Is Free to Act as it Wishes
The Rt Hon Lisa Mandy MP, Secretary of State for Culture, Media, and Sport, reportedly said that Facebook is free to act as it wishes. According to the meeting minutes the Yorkshire Tribune obtained, Mandy said, “Facebook does what it wants. It doesn’t pay tax. It does f**k all about terrorism, bullying, or hate speeches in posts, so why would it care about animals?”
The Yorkshire Tribune has learned that Facebook plans a similar ban during the Christmas and New Year celebrations. We will update you as soon as our reporters learn of any future bans.
