Former Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, John Prescott, has died at the age of 86. The often controversial Labour politician is said to have given up the ghost after seeing Jaguar’s rebranding, which is an abomination.
Prescott had a reputation in the press for confused speech, poor grammar, and mangled syntax. The public knew him as the first MP to swing a punch at a member of the public, paving the way for suspended Labour MP Mike Amesbury to embark on a potentially lucrative boxing career.
Controversy followed Prescott like flies around a tramp. He faced accusations of sexual assault, infidelity, being twice banned from driving, for claiming £312 for fitting mock Tudor beams to his constituency home, and for two new toilet seats in as many years.
However, for many, Prescott will be remembered for claiming to be for the people despite owning two Jaguar cars in one of the most deprived areas of the UK.
Jaguar Rebrand Finishes Off Prescott
Prescott was the MP for Kingston Upon Hull East from June 1970 until his retirement in April 2010. He was made a life peer and sat in the House of Lords until July 2024. Prescott suffered a stroke in June 2019 but managed to return to his duties, albeit in a limited capacity. He died on November 20, 2024, aged 86. His family revealed he had been living in a care home and suffering from Alzheimer’s.
A nurse from the care home contacted The Yorkshire Tribune and told us that Prescott’s health deteriorated rapidly after seeing the “Copy Nothing” Jaguar advertisement on YouTube.
“As you now know, Mr Prescott was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease but often had moments of clarity and lucidity. He loved watching YouTube videos of Jaguars racing around tracks and peasants looking at them, wishing they could afford just a Jag’s wing mirror. We showed him the Jaguar rebrand video, and he went batshit crazy, screaming out expletives I never want to repeat. Three hours later, he was dead.”
“Copy Nothing” Lambasted by Everyone
Luxury, class, performance, and refinement are four words that instantly spring to mind when you think of Jaguar cars. Introduced in September 1935, Jaguar quickly became an iconic brand after producing excellent vehicles such as the Mark V, E-Type, XJ-S, and the XJ. The company also has a rich racing history, with racecars usually sporting the world-famous “British Racing Green” livery.
Jaguar posted its rebranding video on November 19 and has faced a constant barrage of abuse. You’d never believe it would take only 30 seconds of complete codswallop to destroy a brand 89 years in the making.
Gone are the Optima font and the iconic “leaper,” replaced by some modern, nondescript font. The advertisement claims the company is “here to delete ordinary. To go bold. To copy nothing.” Believe us; nobody will copy the total shambles they probably spent a few hundred thousand producing.
Even billionaire Mega Twat Elon Musk joined in with the ribbing, asking, “Do you sell cars?” Jaguar replied to Musk, inviting him for a cup of tea on December 2, when it promised to reveal more brand-damaging drivel. What will it be? A dildo-shaped saloon? The Yorkshire Tribune will bring you more information once it becomes available.
