The Yorkshire Tribune has learned that newly installed U.S. President Donald Trump is set to make a shock move for John James Rambo as he looks to bolster his team before taking over at the White House. President Trump has made several left-field appointments since 79 million morons voted him into power, but asking Rambo to become the Secretary of Defence takes the biscuit.
The orange assassination-faking gammon caused a stir when he appointed the World Wrestling Entertainment co-founder Linda McMahon as the Secretary of Education. McMahon’s husband, Vince, is a vile sex pest and a bully, so at least they have some common ground.
In April 2010, Linda McMahon claimed she had received a bachelor’s degree in education from East Carolina University in 1969. She believed this to be true because she had completed a semester of student teaching. McMahon’s degree is actually in French. The American education system is in safe hands.
President Trump made Robert F Kennedy Jr the Secretary for Health and Human Services despite him being an anti-vaxx cockwomble, a COVID-19 conspiracist, and not fully believing that germs exist. He seems like the perfect person to drive the American health system forward.
And let’s not forget billionaire Elon Musk is onboard as Trump’s efficiency adviser. This is the same Musk who spunked $44 billion on purchasing Twitter in mid-2022 and has run it into the ground.
Rambo Is The Hot Favourite For Prominent U.S. Government Role
Rambo has emerged as a frontrunner for the American Secretary of Defence role. He first became known in 1972 after starring in First Blood. He is a soldier who has post-traumatic stress disorder and is prone to violence.
During his military career, Rambo embarked on several one-person crusades, defending the United States from terrorism and tyranny. Two Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, Silver Star, and Bronze Star Medal are only a handful of Rambo’s many awards and decorations.
A spokesperson for the Republican Party confirmed Trump’s interest in Rambo.
“John James Rambo is a cultural icon and just what is needed to Make America Great Again. His unquenchable thirst for blood and violence, combined with his love of automatic weaponry, makes him an ideal candidate for the Secretary of Defence position. Rambo will help enforce our new manta of “If It’s Brown, Shoot It Down.”
Who Else Does Trump Have Lined Up For a Place on His Team?
President Trump is putting together the final touches to his team before the presidential inauguration on January 20. Our sources suggest Chief Wiggum could become the Secretary of Homeland Security. However, Wiggum is thought to be happy in his role as Police Chief of Springfield.
